Simpsonian Limericks — Season Two
by Pascotimes
Summary: I intend to write one limerick for every episode from each season of "The Simpsons." New chapters will be added twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays, starting today, April 19th. Thank you for your continued support!
1. Bart Gets An F

**Bart Gets An "F"**

Bart is failing fourth grade by degrees

His marks are so low, his tests freeze

But with help from his "buddy,"

And a snow day to study,

He gets by — with the greatest of D's


	2. Simpson And Delilah

**Simpson and Deliliah  
**  
To grow hair back is our Homer's plan  
It succeeds! Burns is his greatest fan  
But Bart spills the growth-potion;  
Homer blows his promotion  
I guess hair really _does _make the man


	3. Treehouse of Horror

**Treehouse Of Horror  
**  
First, a house where ghosts haunt and walls bleed

Then, some aliens longing to "feed"

Last, a moment worth savin':

Our Bart as "The Raven"

What more could your Halloween need?


	4. Two Cars In Every Garage

**Two Cars In Every Garage, Three Eyes On Every Fish  
**  
Violations stop Burns? He won't yield-y

Votes get bought. The election is sealed-y

But moguls get beat, too.

Burns owes his defeat to

_Piscinus trioptic springfieldii_


	5. Dancin' Homer

**Dancin' Homer**

Seems the 'Topes don't have much of a chance in

The big game — until Homer starts dancin'

Then, they win! Soon his show

Gets so good, he turns pro

Will the major-league fans like his prancin'?


	6. Dead Putting Society

**Dead Putting Society**

Ned and Homer pick golf as the way

To decide who's best: Todd or Bart J.

When the sons choose to draw,

Dads must follow the law:

A communal transvestite display


	7. Bart Vs Thanksgiving

**Bart Vs. Thanksgiving**

It's Thanksgiving, and all are in gratitude

Except Bart, who displays his bad attitude

Artwork burns; Lisa cries

Bart learns: Apologize

And that fam'lies put limits on latitude


	8. Bart the Daredevil

**Bart The Daredevil**

With a daredevil for inspiration,

Bart makes danger his new avocation

All his stunts thrill his friends —

'Til the last jump. It ends

With extensive hospitalization


	9. Itchy & Scratchy & Marge

**Itchy & Scratchy & Marge**

What put bad thoughts in our Maggie's noodle?

Marge blames 'toons — says they're violent and brutal

I & S change their style

It succeeds, for a while

Then, it fails — Marge won't knock _David_'s doodle


	10. Bart Gets Hit By A Car

**Bart Gets Hit By A Car**

When Burns hits poor Bart with his auto,

Homer acts like they've all won the Lotto

Things go just as he planned —

'Til his wife takes the stand

And he ends up at Moe's, broke and blotto


	11. One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish

**One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish**

Lis insists: Something diff'rent for dinner!

They try sushi and think it's a winner

But then Homer eats blowfish —

A toxic no-no fish

Well, at least, once he's dead, he'll get thinner


	12. The Way We Was

**The Way We Was**

When the TV set goes down the drain,

Homer takes us down Memory Lane

High school days and Prom Night,

Even love at first sight

And how Artie Ziff's loss was his gain


	13. Homer vs Lisa and the 8th Commandment

**Homer Vs. Lisa And The 8th Commandment**

Homer gets cable free — without paying!

Lisa protests (which goes without saying)

Her most heavenly goal

Is to save her Dad's soul

And she does it — get this — without praying!


	14. Principal Charming

**Principal Charming**

While it's Selma who longs for a mister,

Seymour Skinner falls for the wrong sister

Patty's hand he does win,

But she can't leave her twin

Well, at least, he can say that he kissed her


	15. Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

**Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?**

Abe gets one shock, gives his son another:

Homer J. has a long-lost half-brother!

Herb's an auto tycoon,

Until Homer, that goon,

Wrecks his life — with a plan like no other


	16. Bart's Dog Gets An F

**Bart's Dog Gets An "F"**

When his pet acts up, Bart gets this pitch:

"Get him trained, or your dog we will ditch!"

Though he'd rather sniff asses,

The pooch actually passes

Way to go, you ol' son-of-a-bitch!


	17. Old Money

**Old Money**

Grampa Abe meets a new sweetheart, Bea

But she dies most precipitously

And since Abe was her honey,

She leaves _him_ all her money!

What's he do with it? Just wait and see…


	18. Brush With Greatness

**Brush With Greatness**

Marge can paint; Mister Burns needs a painting

But she finds his exterior tainting

So, she makes this her duty:

Find Burns' _inner_ beauty

And she does — only one ends up fainting


	19. Lisa's Substitute

**Lisa's Substitute**

Lisa's class has a substitute teacher

A wise heart is his handsomest feature

When he leaves, there is pain

But his note keeps her sane

(Even when her Dad acts like some creature)


	20. The War of the Simpsons

**The War Of The Simpsons**

Well, our Homer has done it again

Makes his marriage the worst that it's been

But his fishing endeavor

Will keep them together

Forever and ever — amen!


	21. Three Men and a Comic Book

**Three Men And A Comic Book**

Martin, Milhouse and Bart think it's fun

To buy _Radioactive Man One_!

But the book ends up tearing

'Cause they can't hack sharing

And the lesson the boys learned here? None


	22. Blood Feud

**Blood Feud**

Mister Burns has a sickness obscure

Without blood, he's a goner for sure

It's called _hypohemia_

(A kind of anemia)

And only Bart's veins hold the cure


End file.
